She's Sweet, She Gets Us Home Safe

Oh my brethren
What a tangled web is
Woven in the mind of
Yer Humble Narrator

Funny thing about this blog
it's not quite a diary is it?
I mean, it's meant to be read
And surely not everything is one's head
Should be read or written down

I find myself intensely confused
This evening/morning
Can't sleep
Not a wink
Not a dose
Not a lick

Caught between the old and new worlds
Things left behind resurface
Feelings forgotten reignited
Merrily, life is but a dream...

See my brothers and sisters
I'm stuck
Molasses
It's delicious, don't get me wrong
But fuck! I need something more...

Must clear out some space in my head
So here's a little ditty from a few years back...

Sunny L.A.
No idea what day it is
Doesn't matter
Video shoot today
On the low-budge of course
Set up shop in some theater
Somewhere off of Sunset
Near a Shakey's Pizza...
Kirkles' favorite, no less
Play song over and over and over and over...
Try to look effortlessly cool...fail
Try to look like i don't care...succeed
Hours go by, then someone says,
"You should plug in and do a mini-show"
Ok, whatever
We do it, and no one gives a damn...i knew it

Next stop...
Some hip bar with some models
Yes, i kid you not, we went out with models
However, guess what?
They don't give a shit, and neither do i
A few years earlier, and it woulda been on
But these days, i'm past all that nonsense
Also, an old acquainance tags along
With an old good friend...
Jack and Coke please...
The acquaintance was always nice to me
But now, boy was she being nice...
Trouble, i say to myself, but i play along
No harm, i'm spending the night alone fo' sho'
Jack and Coke please...
We hang out
Listen to music
Talk
Jack and Coke please...
Boy, she's a little extra friendly tonight
I don't suppose it's because i'm in a band
Shooting videos and playing the Viper Room, right?
Jack and Coke please...
Anyway, we all have a bit of fun
And start thinking about our next move
Jack and Coke please...
The bar starts closing down
And the peeps are straggling out
Jack and Coke please...
Time to move on

We end up at some trendy
Hollywood eatery on Sunset
The whole crew has been split
But we find everyone eventually
Next stop, our publicists house

I sit there feeling stupid as
Others are trying to hook up
Bong Hit, Jagermeister, Bong Hit
I'm cool, i've nothing else to do
So i'm fine just hanging around on someone's couch
Bong Hit, Jagermeister, Bong Hit, Jagermeister
People are not hooking up
So people are bailing
Bong Hit, Jagermeister, whoooaaaa
Ok, time to go back to wherever it is we're staying
I hope someone knows, cuz i don't remember anything

Walk out towards the car...
Oh Shit! A slide!
My stupid drunk ass climbs the slippery ladder
At some god-awful time of the night/morning
Slide on down, like an idiot schoolboy
Oops! the slide's all fucking muddy
Too drunk to give a shit, i'm afraid

Stumble into this poor girls car
Getting mud and drunk guy all over it
She's sweet, she gets us home safe
Stumble into the spinning top apartment
Would everyone just sit still please?
Oops, we've lost the keys to our van.
No clean, dry clothes...
No sleeping bag...
No nothing...
Room continues to spin
It's very very dark now
And everyone is quiet and out
Cept me of course, much like tonight
I find comfort in the computer
Till i cannot keep my eyes open anymore
But wait, i'm still soaking wet and cold
Take a quick shower
Wrap a towel around my drunken naked body
Lay down on the hardwood floor
And i'm out...

The poor bastards
They had to wake up staring at
Their naked drummer sprawled across the floor
I slept good though, and woke up feeling great!

What's the point you ask?
The moral?
Oh my brothers, it's clear as a golden dawn
Shining off of a drunken drummers shiny hairless bottom
Join a band!!!!!!!!