...And then So clear

i would love to be in the desert now
feels like home to me
i now live where it's green and wet
i love that too, but i miss the magic

i used to just wander around in it
see where my feet would take me
used to ride my bike through it
see what i could before it got cold
or dark or i got thirsty

i think about my youth and the dreams
and the things that mattered then
i often wonder if it was really better
or if one just remembers the past selectively

i used to ride by your house hoping for a glimpse
did you know that?
fuck, i hope not. that would just be pathetic
but it's ok, cuz really that was someone else not me
that's just a memory
i dreamt about you last night actually
i was just hoping to talk
to catch up with you
you sat beside me, but there was no time
i was soon whisked away by a flaming chariot into Target
they were having a sale on furry-chicken-pencil toppers
the first ENO was there with his boyfriend
they were arguing about what ENO had spent the day doing
he said "nothing", like it was exactly what he should've been doing

it was a dream
what can i tell you?

i would love an out-of-body experience right now
to just close my eyes and float around the room
what would i do with myself if I could make that happen?
i can't tell if i'm just exausted or bored
i wish i could meditate right now
but i'm at work not working

i would like to punctuate less...

i'm listening to ENO now actually
and i want to weep
it's one of the most lovely songs i've heard
sweeping strings swelling my eyes
i'd live this song if i could, ya know?

i cannot wait to see my Bezzie later...