Another Mid-Week Crisis (Nameless: Honorable Mention)

Life can be so strange
Sometimes i go back the way I came
Is it the wrong direction?
Who can say?
You don't get to try both
You cannot have your cake
You cannot eat
You cannot sleep
You cannot cry
You cannot wake up
Snap out of it
Just dwell dwell dwell

Well Well Well
I'm missing someone I hardly knew
We co-existed for years
Saw each other more often than not
I remember the last time we met
Starbucks
Decatur & Charleston
Frappaccinos
I was with Nameless #5

I know that you knew
I don't know what you knew
I don't know how you knew
you know?

I don't think i'll ever see you again
I cannot imagine when or where or why

It's strange
They say you only live once
But i've had at least 9 lives
In my 34 years
My memories are like movies
Short films in my mind
Some songs trigger the tape
And i'm off
Sometimes it's a dream
Sometimes it's someone else that reminds me of you

I can recall being very hung up on you
I was delivering pizza
OX4 came on the stereo
And you were gone
I thought it was for good
But you still haunt me
It's not entirely unpleasant
It's not unpleasant at all
I can reminisce and I don't feel bad
Or nostalgic
Just curious

I gave you a nickname once
It wasn't very nice
But I was upset with you
I felt betrayed
I saw you at Taco Bell with someone else

You know what's strange?
I don't even know if it was you!
I didn't get a good look but
My imagination made it you
Whether it was or not
You had to pay
Though you would never know it
Would you?

Sometimes I find it hard to picture
People from the past
People that i knew well
That i was intimate with
I cannot recall their features
But i've never forgotten yours
Oh if i only knew then what i know now
Cliche number 71

Not that i regret anything really
It's all been such a wonderful ride
I wouldn't change a thing
Well maybe one thing, but then again, no

O, Cheeky Cheeky, O, Naughty Sneaky

Oh my sons & daughters
It's been too long
Has it not?
What can i say
Life is uneventful as of late
and I count on my memories
to blog me through

I could bore thee with so much
But why?
Is it not boring enough out there for ya?
Do ye not have so little to do already?
Is there no other chore one can do
Than to read or write these musings?
Have I answered my own question again?

Tell us about thyself, ye ask?
Well why not, here goes.
Did you know that i used to wish I was Paul McCartney?
That is, that I would've traded places in life with him.
A younger version of me thought that
Of a younger, but old, Paul (Billy?)
How's your math?
That's the 25 year old me
Willing to trade existences with
The 55 year old Paul/Billy

I mean why not?
He's Paul fucking McCartney and
I'm just little ol' miserable me
Surely his existence was infinately more interesting
I mean he was in Wings!!!!

Anyways, the point of this is to say that
No longer do I wish i were someone else
And no, it has nothing to do with that one-legged gold digger
No, not the pirate, the other one
I do not wish to be someone else

Am i perfect?
Hell yeah!
I am for me.
Listen.
I'm often rude
short tempered
crass
crude
and everything else.

You see, i've spent my whole life working on myself
I know what's wrong with me, i'm not asleep
And I know what's good with me
But somewhere along the journey
I became one with myself
So i've not changed all that much
I'm just no longer inclined to do much about it

I am a free thinker
I am not bound by religion
I am not bound by philosphy
I am not labelled this or that
I am not colored red or blue or brown or white
I am an individual
Everyone is...
but some are afraid to be...
some are frightened of themselves...
or what others will think...
what a lack of fucking imagination!!!!
it deeply disturbs me.

Cheerios.